Happy Birthday to Me
- Alex Sanchez
- Dec 10, 2025
- 1 min read
Poem
I wish you were immortal.
I wish it were Thanksgiving, so I could pick your bones out of my teeth.
I wish it were Halloween so I could fill your candy with razor blades and arsenic.
I wish it were Christmas so I could put your bleeding guts in a gift box.
I wish it were the Fourth of July so I could blast your brains to bits.
Sadly, you only have one life.
Sadly, it's my birthday.
Sadly, there’s no one to sing my song; you made sure of that.
But at least you brought the cake, so I’ll sing.
I wish you a Happy Birthday.
I wish you a Happy Birthday.
I wish you a Happy Birthday.
And a stick of dynamite.
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