Happy Birthday to Me

Alex Sanchez
Dec 10, 2025
1 min read

Poem

I wish you were immortal.

I wish it were Thanksgiving, so I could pick your bones out of my teeth.

I wish it were Halloween so I could fill your candy with razor blades and arsenic.

I wish it were Christmas so I could put your bleeding guts in a gift box.

I wish it were the Fourth of July so I could blast your brains to bits.

Sadly, you only have one life.

Sadly, it's my birthday.

Sadly, there’s no one to sing my song; you made sure of that.

But at least you brought the cake, so I’ll sing.

I wish you a Happy Birthday.

And a stick of dynamite.

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